A Hectic Christmas 2004
(Is It Really The 24th Already?)

'Twas 6 days before Christmas. You're kidding! Already?
I can't wait 'til it gets here but I'm just not not ready!
My shopping's not finished no presents are wrapped
My credit cards' cancelled and my bank account tapped.
(Not the only rhyme that came to mind there...)

The ornaments, tinsel, lights white, green, and red
Are still in their boxes somewhere in the shed.
Christmas is rapidly running its course,
While Halloween pumpkins still rot on my porch!
(Hey, At least I unplugged the purple lights!)

"Tomorrow," I vow, as my mood starts to perk,
"I get started on Christmas right after work.
I'll make plans tonight, get a little ahead",
But my brain is too tired, so I slip off to bed.
(Where visions of long shopping lines and surly cashiers dance in my head.)

'Twas 5 days before Christmas, I wake up from dozin'
To find that the powder room pipes are all frozen.
"The radiator's shut off!" I soon understand,
So I open the knob -- and it breaks in my hand!
(No more Wheaties for me!)

The water is spewing straight up without stopping,
If I don't stop it now, my whole house will be sopping.
There's no shut off valve, I simply must plug it,
But it's in back of the toilet, so I lay down and hug it!
(Not, mind you, the first time THAT'S happened!)

The house is all empty, I'm alone in my plight,
So I take off my belt and wrap it 'round tight.
Then quick to my basement to relieve the pressure,
And that valve breaks too, just for good measure.
(Ever have one of those days?)

Now the water that keeps my house cozy and warm,
Is draining away on this cold winter morn.
If I don't get it fixed by the end of the day,
Both me and my pipes will all freeze all the way.
(Did I mention that it went down to 3 degrees last night?)

I bought tools and supplies and got consultations,
And measured and sweated and went through gyrations.
Through blisters and burns I hummed Christmas songs,
And just around midnight the heat was back on!
(Not bad for a computer geek who almost failed shop class!)

'Twas 4 days before Christmas, the problem's not licked,
The leak that was bypassed, still must be fixed.
Another day spent on my hands and a knee,
And there in my den stands that bare Christmas Tree!
(And looking more Charlie Brownish every day.)

'Twas 3 days before Christmas, thank God I have patience!
I still haven't shopped or hung decorations.
The sinks' full of dishes, no cleaning's begun,
And the Kernville Newsletter still isn't done.
(I'm still not sure I actually volunteered for that job.)

But no matter, it's Wednesday! My favorite weekday,
For on every Wednesday my kids come to play.
Tonight I'll work late, and tomorrow be busy,
But nothing else matters while my children are with me.
(Hear that? That's not Dasher prancing on your roof.
It's me doing the "Happy Dance"! Woohoo!)


A Kernsville Christmas 2000 ('Twas 4 days before Christmas)

A Kernsville Christmas 2002 (How the Krinch Stole Christmas)

A Hectic Christmas 2004

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